Strawberry Earth Good Stuff About The Environment

Fat people on mopeds

AMSTERDAM – Around all of us there is a thin layer of civility. It’s a bit of a shock when this layer disintegrates in front of your eyes. Out of nowhere you can be confronted with a ranting road user or elbowed on the train. The problem is that no one admits to their own lack of civility. Instead, we prefer to cast horrified looks at our unadjusted compatriots. In my experience, we tend to show our more primitive side when we’re abroad.

Every summer foreigners arrive in droves to barf all over the streets of our capital. In return, we escape to sunny locations to show off our naked, saggy, sun burned flesh in all its glory. It’s a kind of exchange project for holiday hooligans.

I have primitive inclinations myself once in a while. Everybody has their own a trigger, something that makes you tumble over the edge of civility. For me that’s fat people on mopeds and scooters. I know, it’s completely politically incorrect and it’s probably insulting, or worse, heinous. I tell myself to be a bit milder, but as soon as I see such a heavily loaded moped or scooter, I let out another “Jeeeezus”. It’s not about fat, it’s not about the moped or scooter, it’s all in the combination of the two.

As soon as someone like that chuggs by I hear myself cursing inwardly.

“Get your fat arse on a bike!” slips out before I know it. I change into a typical ‘skinny bitch’.

Why does it evoke so much aggression in me? Maybe it’s the nasty fumes that belch out of them and blow straight into the lungs of road users behind them. Or maybe it’s their passive way of sitting like a sack of potatoes. It’s the same people that stand listlessly still on an escalator. They turn ‘moving-as-little-as-possible’ into a sport.

Of course there are people who can’t move or are too old to cycle, but obviously I don’t mean them. I’m talking about young people who are already in their elderly-mode. Fortunately, I share my aggravation with a good friend. Cursing together helps. We totally agree that humanity would benefit if fat people that can, would ride a bicycle. It would be a big plus for the quality of air and good for health in general.

Except for my intolerance towards certain road users, I think of myself as pretty civilized. People who give me the elbow, cut me off in traffic, complain or push, are generally treated to a friendly smile. As long as they keep their fat arses off mopeds and scooters!

Posted in: Amsterdam
By Mette Te Velde, 18-11-2008