Three Years Later: An Allotment
Three years ago I joined a list. The infamous Allotment List. If, like many urban Tiny Gardeners, you too have entertained ideas of growing your own vegetables on one of these hallowed sites, chances are your dreams crashed back down to earth with a wet thud.
Apparently, for every allotment plot in the UK, there are 30 people (or 300 eager green fingers) waiting to grab it. The waiting list for some Central London plots can be up to 10 years. In Camden, it’s 40 years. FORTY YEARS! You could grow another limb in that time.
Because of the wait, most people just chuck their names on the list, then forget about it. Which is why I was surprised when, out of the blue, I got a call from Alan, the allotment representative for a nearby site. He said we’d come to the top of the list and invited us to check out the plot at the weekend.
“How will I know who you are?” I said.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Alan said, with a hint of menace. “I’ll know who you are.”
He then gave the kind of precise directions you might need if you were being talked down to the ground by air traffic control.
“…then ease up on the accelerator, pop it into neutral and stop the vehicle. You will have arrived at the allotment.”
So, a few days later, with a slight sense of dread, we wandered down to the site - a patchwork of mud, leafy squares and sheds set in a pretty little valley.
Everyone was friendly, full of advice and happy to stretch out welcoming, mud-encrusted hands. As we left, newly signed tenancy agreement in hand, Alan gave us a custard squash and a potato. Our first allotment veg to taste.
(By the way, the annual rent for this plot? £24. That’s 100 square metres of city land for less than the cost of a round of London drinks. And for something that could save you £1000 a year. No wonder they’re so bloody popular.)
Now, after three years of trying to grow carrots in teacups and dividing a solitary windowsill radish between two people, we have loads of fertile land to exploit. The next step is knowing what to plant. I refuse to grow any brussels sprouts. My friend wants to plant an oak tree. I feel he’s missing the point. Alan suggested starting with garlic and broad beans – which are both apparently great winter plants.
Anyone with an allotment out there? Any suggestions for what to plant first? And, please. No goddamn brussels sprouts.
